Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Lifes Moments

On Sunday the 28th of December, was a great moment in our lives. It was Christmas time, and alot of our friends and family were around. But that afternoon we blessed our little son Ian. We had sacrament meeting at 245. I put on my old mission suit,(i hadn't worn a suit in 7 years, since my mission.) Ian was blessed all in white clothes of course(man he's a cute little boy.) I was so excited and nervous to bless him. Im not good at all with public speaking stuff (oh well). It was such a neat experience to hold my son and give him his name and a blessing. I was shaking the whole time, but it really was such an awesome experience. And then after you bless him, the bishop says hold up your son and show him off to everyone. It reminded me off Lion King when the dad holds up his little cub to show the whole world him. It was an awesome moment. So then i sat down and thought I was going to relax the rest of sacrament meeting with my wife. But then the bishop was the last to speak that day. He said he had a strong feeling from the spirit, that Sister Hawks (Traci) should give her baby to me to hold, and that she should come up and bear her testimony. Traci walked up there and stood by the bishop. He said some really nice things about Traci, and then he said it was her turn. At that moment I was holding our little son Ian, and listening to my beautiful wife. The world stopped for me for a few minutes. I really couldn't remember being as happy and at peace as I was feeling at that time. I looked down at Ian and then looked up at Traci as she was talking, the tears just kept coming for me. At that moment all my worries went away. I was so grateful to my heavenly father for blessing me with such a great wife, with such a great testimony, and a happy healthy son. Heavenly father sure has blessed me so much. I was so grateful to hear my wifes beautiful testimony. I think it was the best testimony I have ever heard. That was a moment in my life I will never forget. The world stopped for a few moments for me. Im just so grateful for my family. My wife and our son Ian. I have loved starting our little family. Im so grateful for the gospel. It really does give us a meaning in our lives. We know why were here, where were going afterwords. Im grateful to have a son who we can teach him the principles of the gospel. It's so fun to see him grow. Its so great to see him smile. Im grateful to be a dad. I just want to thank all of our friends and family that were there. It was such a great day.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Ian Is Here!!!

Ian Bruce Hawks. 7 Lbs. 1 Ounce. 20 Inches Long

Traci went into Mckay Dee Hospital On October 30th at 7 am. We got all the paper work done, and then they started to induce her at about 830 am. Then the waiting game began. Traci's mom and I were just waiting there in the room with her. I was pretty nervous. I didnt know what to expect obviously. Then the contractions began, and the pain started to come really bad for her. So then they brought in someone to save her lol. The Dr. to give her the epideral. So that was an experience to see that be administered. After that the pain wasn't to bad she said. Then from 1230 to 130 pm, she went from a 5 dialated to a 9 in a hour. So she was moving fast. Then at 230 pm she was at a 10. Then at around 245 she started to push. She was doing awesome. Then about after an hour of pushing they sent for the doctor. Our regular Doctor was out of town so we had Dr. Seale. He came in right in time to catch Ian at 356 pm. Little Ian Bruce Hawks was born!!! I thought I wasnt going to make it seeing all the blood and all the stuff happening, but boy was I wrong. It really was a very spiritual experience. It was really a miracle to have a child come into the world. I was so so so happy. I did have quit a few tears in that room. The spirit was very strong there. I ll never forget the experience. It was great to hear him cry a little bit. He is very healthy and happy for the most part. It was the best feeling to hold him for the first time. I brought him right over so Traci could hold him. It was so neat to see her hold our little boy. Traci did such an awesome job. She sacrificed so much. I loved seeing our little family grow. Ian is doing great!! We came home today. We were in the hospital for 2 nights. Life is great!!!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Random thoughts!!

Well it is October 23rd. Its a beautiful fall day outside, with the leaves being all different colors. Wow i love this time of year. It always reminds me of alot of different things. Fall= Football. Fall = deer hunting(which i didnt go this year.) Fall= awesome weather usually, not to hot, not to cold. Fall= happiness to me. It is my favorite time of year. But this year, fall means something else. Fall=new born baby. And that I am so so excited about. Our first little boy is due in less then 2 weeks. So I guess he can come at any time. Everyone asks are we ready? how can you ever be ready I wonder? But in reality im so ready for this opportunity. Traci and I have been trying to prepare ourselves by doing the best we can. We decided to read the Book of Mormon from start to finish before our son comes. We started last month, so we will finish it before he gets here. Its been so awesome reading it everyday, and to realize the guidance we have thru the scriptures. I guess in reality you can never do enough to prepare. You just do your best and thats all were asked to do. I know we have been prepared our whole lives for opportunities like this . I am so excited to be a dad. Im so excited that Traci and I have the opportunity to raise a child. Its a lot of work I hear. But I know as with anything, change brings growth, and Im ready to grow more with my little family. I know that I am very blessed. I have a beautiful wife that sacrifices so much. She does so much for our family. Its crazy to me to see how much women sacrifice to have a child. I couldn't do that, i know i couldn't. I really do have the best wife ever. She will be the best mom ever, Ian will be so lucky to have such a great mom. What does Fall mean more then ever now. Fall= Much Much Happiness!!!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Whats In a Name?

Whats in a name? most people probably say nothing. But I say everything. I have been thinking about that today. As most of you know, my wife Traci and I are having our first child. He is due in less then 2 months. We are way excited! Its a boy of course. So we have been thinking a while about names. For a long time we couldn't decide on one. But finally we decided on one. Ian. Yeah we like Ian. So we thought we had our name. Ian Joshua Hawks. But then today while I was thinking about a lot of things I had a feeling. I started to think about our boy thats going to be born. I started to think about his name. Why? We had already picked out his name I thought. So I started to think about family. I love my family with all my heart. I am so thankful for my family. I am so thankful for my ancestors. They have always been very important to me. I always think, without them I wouldn't be where I'm at right now. They paved a path for me. What legacy am i going to leave for this world, I always think to myself. Now as my wife and I start our little family, what are things that i need to teach my little family. I definitely want them to know of there ancestors, there legacy. I've always looked up to my parents and grandparents so much. I've always for some reason looked up to my Grandpa's especially. They were such great men. If i could be at least half as good as them, then I think ill be ok. So all of this was on my mind today. Whats in a name? I started to think what is the best name for our first boy. Ian, yeah that feels good. But what about the middle name. Ian Joshua didn't seem right. So i started to think. A feeling came to me about Traci's dad. I have never met him in this life. Both of Traci's parents had passed away from cancer, when she was younger. But if you want to talk about a legacy. Bruce and Vicki Nichols left an awesome legacy. They taught there 2 daughters and 2 sons so much. I know they led by example. They had to of. Traci and her brothers and sister are the neatest people ever. They have come thru so much in there lives, They are such great examples to me. I' m so thankful for my beautiful wife Traci. I couldn't ask for anything more. So as I thought about a middle name. I thought of her dads legacy, my wifes legacy, our legacy. I would love to haver her dads name Bruce be our sons middle name. It sounds and means so much to me. Ian Bruce Hawks. Even though i have never met Bruce physically, I definitely know him. I know him thru the things he taught his young family, especially my wife. I couldnt ask for better in laws. Im definitely thankful for Bruce and Vicki Nichols. So there it is Ian Bruce Hawks. Even though our son will never meet his Grandma and Grandpa Nichols here on earth, he will definitely know who they are, and he will represent them well. SO WHATS IN A NAME? EVERYTHING!!!
Hopefully we all can do a little better in our lives, and leave a great legacy for others. You may never know how much of an impact you play in others lives.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Well I haven't done a blog forever!!! So im repenting lol and doing one today. Wow the last time I wrote in here was January. Wow has life changed. Boy have I changed. I have grown a lot. One thing that I am so excited, is that last Wednesday, Traci and I went to the Dr's. It's official, I guess were pregnant. The ultrasound proves it. Its not just Traci saying she is sick, lol. Ok I was just giving her a hard time, we knew she was pregnant for a few weeks. It was just so awesome to see a child developing in her body. It was surreal. Its crazy to think that I will be a father. Wow scary, awesome, unreal all in one. I am so excited. I am so excited to know that Heavenly Father knows that Traci and I can give this child everything, from teaching he/she (shim) the basics of life, but also teaching them values and religious teachings that will prepare this child to return to there father in heaven. Thats a huge responsibilty. But I know Heavenly Father trusts us that we can do that. And for that I am so grateful for him for giving us that opportunity. We are very excited. Of course Traci is not due until November 4th. So that gives us some time to prepare, and to enjoy just us and Brutus. Well I guess thats big news!!! Life is good. Lately its been some of the hardest times, but some of the best times. You cant have the good with out the bad. Its what we learn. I'm so grateful for Traci, she truly is amazing. She never ceases to amaze me. I truly am so lucky to have her in my life. She goes thru so much everyday with work, with being sick, with being a wife. And then dealing with me!! Your the best babe, I love you. Well I wrote my blog, and I promise ill be better at it now. Bring on the Spring time!!!

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Well it seems to me ive always had a hard time with faith. I think sometimes its because i may be to hard headed and think i can do things on my 0wn, or just make things work on my own. I hate that about me. I always wish i could have more faith. One thing happened yesterday that has helped me know that Heavenly Father cares for me, Joshua Monty Hawks. I know im a son of God. Out of all the people on this earth, he knows us all, he loves us all. He knows whats going on in all of our lives. Satan wants us to forget about that. He wants us to feel alone. Its weird because im crying as i write this. Yesterday, January 16, 2008 i came home from work to get something to eat. I was making my food, and also getting some medicine ready to give to Brutus. After i was done getting his medicine chopped up, i had to wash my hands. I washed them and i felt my wedding ring slip a little on my finger. So i made sure I put it back on my finger. I then went to eat my food and watch tv. A while later while I was watching tv i looked down and saw the my wedding ring was gone!!! I couldnt believe it. What!! how could it be gone. i started looking downstairs, under the couch, on the couch all over the room downstairs, i took apart the couch to look. It was no where. I tried to retrace my tracks. i went up stairs into the kitchen to start looking. I looked everywhere, in the sink, down the drain, on the floor, i went thru the garbage piece by piece, all over the kitchen. I looked all over for over an hour straight. How could i lose my wedding ring!! I just kept looking all over. I had the sickest feeling in my stomach. I started to think maybe I lost it while i was at work. But I swear I remembered it slipping while I washed my hands. I didnt know what to do. So i called Traci, and told her. She was so calm. She wasn't mad that I had lost it, she kept saying it will be ok. Dont worry things will be ok. Wow she was so calm. I felt so sick to my stomach. We had just gotten married less then 6 months ago, and I lost my ring already. She kept comforting me, and said she will help me try to look for it when she gets home from work. She came home and tried to look for it. She said she looked everywhere. She couldnt find it. I said a couple of prayers to help me be guided to where it was. Then i just kept looking. I went back to work, I thought maybe I lost it there but i couldnt find it anywhere. I came home from work and looked everywhere once again where I thought it would be. But it wasnt. Traci couldnt find it either. We went to bed. I prayed and prayed that night. I just kept thinking about it. I couldnt sleep, i even dreamed that i was looking for it, and i never found it in my dream. I woke up early because we were going ice fishing. I was waiting for my Heston and Brandi to come and pick me up. While I was waiting for them, i opened up the Book of Mormon and started to read a little. I kept praying that I would find my ring, and asking Heavenly Father to give me peace. Im the type of person that i just keep dwelling on things forever, so I was asking for peace so I could have a good day, and if it be his will that i could find my ring. It was a great comfort to me to read from the Book of Mormon. I felt the spirit strong. I read in Mormon chapter 1. It was talking about how Mormon was being prepared to get the plates. He was only 11 years old, but he had the faith to do what was right, and wait until later in his life to go and get the plates. What faith he had, to know even though everyone was so wicked at the time, he was righteous enough, to be prepared to help get the plates, and help with the Book of Mormon. So thats what I read this morning. Then Heston and Brandi came and picked me up and we went fishing. It was fun. It was nice to have a break and not to worry about finding the ring. I came home, and all I could think about was that ring. Today was a cloudy day outside, at least it seemed depressing to me. I lost my ring!! I did a couple of errands, and i was just so sad. I came home cleaned part of the garage, and I was thinking about losing my ring and i started to cry. I was crying so hard. I never cry. But i was so so sad I lost my wedding ring. It meant everything to me. It meant my marriage to Traci, It meant me being with her forever, it meant everything. I felt so bad for losing my wedding ring. I just felt so sad and bad for losing it. I felt like I let Traci down for losing it. I felt empty. I just kept crying out in my garage. I texted Traci and told her how I was feeling. She said some of the sweetest things to me. She just kept trying to comfort me so much. She said baby its gonna be alright. I promise. It will all work out. She said she loved me. I wanted to believe that, but i kept crying. I just felt empty still. I went inside and gave Brutus his medicine. It was weird but i just sat and talked to him for a little. It just felt good to help him feel better with his medicine. Ive always liked helping others (and now even helping animals i like doing.) I feel good after i help somebody out or in this case a dog out. I went to wash my hands again in the sink. I replayed what happened the night before as i washed my hands. I tried to remember what I did. Out of habit i went to the fridge and used the towel on it to wipe my hands. I opened the fridge to get a drink out of there. After that a thought came to my head,that last night i got some cheese out for my meal. Right then i had a thought to check in the fridge where the cheese was. Not because I wanted some, just because I had an impression to check there. I opened it up, and guess what I found my wedding ring!!!!! it was in the fridge!!! I was the happiest man on earth. I just started to cry. I cried and cried so much. I dont remember crying that much ever before. I hurry and put it on my finger. I went to my room and went to my knees. I couldnt stop crying. i was to happy. I felt so so blessed. I cant explain to you how i felt. It was mixed emotions. I was sad because in my mind i felt like i didnt have enough faith to rely on Heavenly Father thru out this whole experience. I didnt think he cared about a ring. But you know what, boy does he care. He cares about me Joshua Monty Hawks. He cares about my feelings, me as a person. He knows how much that ring meant to me. I know its just a ring, but it symbolizes so much to me. He knows that it means everything to me. It means that I have a beautiful wife, that cares about me and loves me so so much. He knows it means that its our Eternal Marriage!!! He knows that it means the love I have for Traci!!! Heavenly Father Knows Me!!!! He listens to my prayers!!! He cares about me here in little south ogden utah. Ill always remember this moment. I couldnt stop crying for what seemed over 30 minutes kneeling on my floor in my bedroom after that, thanking my Heavenly Father for helping me, and realizing that i am a child of God. I think he helped me realize whats important to me in my life. Stop sweating the little things. Have faith in him. He is there for us. Be a better person. I needed that reminder. I guess we always need reminders. Im so grateful for my marriage to Traci. I love her so much. Im grateful to have this faith promoting experience!!!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

You Are a Blue Crayon

Your world is colored in calm, understated, deep colors.
You are a loyal person, and the truest friend anyone could hope to find.
On the inside, you tend to be emotional and even a bit moody.
However, you know that people depend on you. So you put on a strong front.

Your color wheel opposite is orange. Orange people may be opinionated, but you feel they lack the depth to truly understand what they're saying.